its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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