lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Randomize
