She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize