From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
