break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
