i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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