I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
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