so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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