We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize