The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
