Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
