The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
