Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
