She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
