A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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