somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize