I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
