what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
