No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
