fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
It's never too late to be topless.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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