is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
