In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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