I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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