The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
