he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
