ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
