I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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