we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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