How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
