I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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