I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
