Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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