it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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