She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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