last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize