I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
