to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
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