hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
