im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
