come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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