"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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