honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I take back everything I said about communal showers
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
