with your own penis?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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