Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
