They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
