After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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