I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
