Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Your cock deserves a montage
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
