Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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