Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
