oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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