Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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