What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
