i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
