Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
