so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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