There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
