its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
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