In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
