Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
